A Different Angle: Living In Sin?

A Different Angle: a random collection of essays and observations, mostly about lesbian/gay/bi issues.

This essay originally appeared in the March 1990 issue of The Church Herald, the magazine of the Reformed Church in America.

Living in Sin?

The 1989 General Synod passed a resolution calling on members to create a climate welcoming of all people, including those of various disabilities, languages, ages, and sexual orientations. The inclusion of "sexual orientation" sparked considerable debate.

How should the RCA respond to gay people? Should it welcome them as they are, or is their sexuality incompatible with the Gospel? Before exploring this question, we need to understand what homosexuality is, what it is not, and to what kind of people it refers. Then we can examine what Scripture says about it.

Homosexuality is a life-long affectional attraction to individuals of the same gender. It refers to the feelings a person has, not the sexual activity they engage in. For example, sexually active prison inmates are usually heterosexual in their orientation, as are children who "experiment" with same-gender friends. Celibate gay priests and gay people in mixed-gender marriages are still homosexual, despite the fact that they do not engage in same-gender sex.

People do not choose to be gay. Why would anyone choose to risk derision from their friends, physical assault, loss of their jobs, rejection by their families, and religious condemnation? Gay people have no more decided to be gay than straight people have decided to be straight. Gay people do, however, face the decision of whether to acknowledge their sexual orientation. As much as ten percent of the population is faced with this question.

We don't yet know why people are attracted to one sex or the other (or both). We do know that sexual orientation is already set by age 5, though individuals may not properly recognize it for some time. Children and adolescents cannot be "recruited" to become one or the other. A few well-intentioned religious groups claim to "convert" gay people, but candid discussion reveals that "successful" cases already had heterosexual feelings, and still have homosexual feelings they can't fully ignore.

Homosexuality is not a mental disorder, a fact recognized by the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association. The feelings gay people have naturally for their partners are the same as the feelings heterosexuals have for theirs. Lesbian and gay relationships can be as nurturing and monogamous as heterosexual relationships. If society did not actively undermine them, but instead gave them comparable support, more same-gender relationships would match or exceed the longevity of heterosexual marriages.

Most lesbians and gay men are not especially masculine or feminine. People who fit these stereotypes are just more readily identified as gay (whether they actually are or not). Gay people shop at the same stores, work in the same offices, live in the same neighborhoods, and worship at the same churches you do. The only real difference is the gender of the people they fall in love with.

What does Scripture say about homosexuality? Interestingly, very little. The Gospels record no mention of it by Christ. There are a few passages that have been commonly thought to condemn it: the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, Levitical law, and certain comments by Paul. However, as we gain better insight into Scripture, there is considerable reason to question the blanket condemnation of homosexuality.

Genesis 19 tells that when two angels visited Lot's house in Sodom, the men of the city demanded that Lot send them out, so that they might "know" them. This passage condemns homosexual assault, but does not condemn loving gay relationships of the kind we see today. Biblical passages curse Sodom repeatedly for mistreatment of visitors, but nowhere for homosexuality.

Leviticus 18:22 states, "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman." However, Leviticus also forbids wearing clothes woven of two materials (19:19) and eating pork, lobster, or clams (11:7,11). Yet we do not say today that poly/cotton shirts or clam chowder are abominations, because we know that such ceremonial laws no longer apply.

The reference in Romans 1:26-27 to those who lustfully "exchanged natural relations for unnatural" has often been thought to denounce same-gender relations of any kind. Saying that this passage also means committed relationships between people who are naturally gay, is reading things into the text, especially since society of Paul's time did not even understand that such people existed. The disapproval of hedonistic experimentation is evident here, but this passage does not speak clearly about loving, gay relationships.

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, the RSV says that "[no] homosexuals...will inherit the kingdom of God." However, the New International Version (which follows Paul's words and meaning more faithfully) speaks more specifically, of "male prostitutes" and "homosexual offenders". Since most gay people are neither sexually abusive nor prostitutes, this should not be read as a condemnation of all homosexual activity, just of particular homosexuals who are sinful.

Some people categorically condemn all gay men and lesbians, but surely God would not exclude us from grace for feelings we do not choose to have. Some say we must change, but though God could change our orientation, He does not, and countless devout Christians remain gay. Some self-righteously instruct us not to "practice" our sexuality, but Paul advises that celibacy is not for all...it is better to marry than to let love smolder unfulfilled.

Society shouts that the love we feel is wrong. But prayerful meditation quietly assures me that mutual love in the context of a greater love for God can only be good. My faith is in the loving God who speaks to me in that still, small voice.

Todd VerBeek is a member of Hope Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

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