A Different Angle: a random collection of essays and observations, mostly about lesbian/gay/bi issues. © Todd VerBeek, Radio Zero(tm)

Happy Valentine's Day! Or Not.

This is one of those holidays that leaves me with mixed feelings. Never mind that it's named after a saint from a religion I don't practice, because it's not really a religious holiday any more. After all, most people (even Catholics) don't have a clue who this St. Valentine person really was.

What bugs me about it is that it's so... straight. Don't get me wrong. Some of my best friends are "that way". But this is a day that is really geared toward all the boys with girlfriends, the girls with boyfriends, and all the husband/wife pairs out there. Given all that heterosexist baggage, why should we even care about it?

Well, why shouldn't we? Why shouldn't women buy chocolates for their girlfriends, lovers, or wives? Why not encourage men to send flowers to their husbands, lovers, or boyfriends? Don't we have the same kind of romantic feelings as anyone else? And don't we all deserve to get flowers and junk food?

Of course we do. But not all of us fit the necessary pattern. Not everyone in our community is in a traditional relationship like straight society expects. And Valentine's Day does a wonderful job of leaving such people out of the picture. If you're not in an exclusive, committed relationship with another person, you don't have a part in Valentine's Day.

I'm not suggesting that we should get rid of the one holiday dedicated to love. On the contrary, the idea is certainly worth keeping. We just need to make a conscious effort to shape it, twist it, and make it ours. There's more to love than what the media and straight society tell us. So let's include all forms of love in our celebration this February 14.

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